It’s like you’re screaming, and no one can hear
You almost feel ashamed
That someone could be that important
That without them, you feel like nothing
No one will ever understand how much it hurts
You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you
(We found Love :lyrics by Rihanna)
Today I write about what I think is the most important yet the hardest to understand communications between two humans, love. In my life to be without love is like the sky without the sun, the night sky without a moon. The darkness with no light.
While I have this need I have yet to fully understand the nature of real and true love. The dance between the need for the respect of myself but also having tolerance for those who love me. People are only human. We are all trying to get by on this earth. Most of us feel a variety of emotions, some hurt us and others and some emotions like happiness are constructive. We need to feel these in an appropriate manner that does not hurt others. I firmly believe that aggression towards another is never acceptable except when under attack and in physical danger. There comes a time for all of us where we have to stand up for ourselves. It is an act of self-love, you are loving yourself by standing up for yourself if physically attacked.
To need someone so badly I do not think is healthy. I like to always have a sense of independence, to have systems and people around me that I will not fall apart if the relationship deteriorates. I have made the mistake too often where I depend on someone completely and when they are no longer in my life my world literally falls apart. In one relationship that went sour I had to leave Edinburgh in Scotland. I had no friends or money, just a relationship. I remember sitting outside a train station in Dublin waiting for my mother to bring me home. I did not eat or drink on the plane because I had no money. I was thirsty sitting outside the train station but I had not a penny to my name, literally. Yes I have gone through hard times but I learned from that experience.
In a relationship how do you know when enough is enough and it is time to call it a day? As Rihanna sings so well, you know you will miss all the goodness in that person when they are gone and you might regret not being tolerant enough to just accept the person`s faults. For me it is best to try and fix the relationship but we all must accept change. Change happens all the time in life. Nothing is more certain in life than change. I do not think a drastic end to a relationship is always necessary but people do have to be prepared for change in a relationship too, because communication in a relationship changes all the time.
What I have learned lately is that the key for me to have a happy life is to never be afraid. If I can believe and remember that I am always safe, that I have the strength within me to deal with any event in relationships or any other situation I do not feel as bad when there are difficulties. I think more clearly, I make better decisions because I do not panic. That is what I have learned so far. I would hope that many others will know the value of having no fear.