It was my birthday yesterday. I am now 41, that`s 41 years living on planet Earth! Time for me to reflect!. I have been accused of being a Mary Poppin’s type of person. There is a scene where Mary Poppins takes out a measuring tape, measures herself and comments “Just as I expected, Mary Poppins practically, perfect in every way”. There is another quote by her “Anything can happen if you let it.”
On my birthday I reflected on my life so far. What I have achieved, what I `failed´ at and what I want to do in the future. I marvelled at how so much of my life seemed predestined.The town and country I was born into, the parents that made me, the physical body I was born with and it`s perfections and apparent `imperfections’.
I thought about the people I have met in my life. How blessed I have been to meet some truly wonderful people. I joined in with their infectious enthusiasm about life. They saw how I was isolated and welcomed me into their arms and their lives. They responded to my love for people and returned it by many times more than the friendship I gave them. I thought about how `unfortunate´ I have been to meet some people that are full of bitterness, people that have lost their way in life, people who want to inflict as much pain on others as has been inflicted on them. They saw in me their own weaknesses and I have suffered at their unforgiving and sometimes brutal hands.
I looked within myself and how I have responded to my challenges in life. Some have been formidable. I have a form of dyslexia with numbers which means I can`t perform basic mathematics like adding and subtracting and I can`t count. I don`t have the concept of math and numbers. This I compensated for in that I have a very strong command of the English language. I have a way with words that people have often commented on, one person said he liked the way I paint with words. I suffered from a lot of anxiety in the past. This has made me appreciate the feelings of others and I often act to try and help people feel less scared in their lives, I offer them ways to feel more secure. I am aware that people may choose not to accept these tools to deal with their fear but people have the right to live their lives as they see fit, it`s not for me to force my ways on others. I learnt this because I was in situations like that myself where people were forcing their opinions on me and the more they forced the more I resisted. This helped me understand the concept of free will, that others have the right to do as they wish in their lives.
At this point in my life, all of the 41 years I have lived on this earth ! I know that, I know, that it is true, that every negative can be turned into a positive or is a positive you just don`t understand yet that it is a blessing in disguise. If you are open to insight life will show you how this is the case. Mary Poppins saw that she was “practically perfect in every way” This is the case for all of us. We were born perfect. What we don`t like in ourselves others like about us. You see that I have put negative statements in inverted comma`s. That`s because as I said a negative is a positive in disguise. You can learn from it. My anxiety taught me to be careful of others feelings. I learned from my failures, I went down the wrong path at times and then I learnt that it was not for me and took another path and it was the right one. I continue to deal with difficult people but I am learning from them how not to behave and the art of letting people be while protecting yourself from their behaviour. They have forced me to learn the essential skills of assertiveness. If you experience these people in your lives, I believe most people do, then assertiveness skills are essential. I have learned these skills because I have met these people so they are teaching me to improve my tolerance of othes and assertiveness.
A personality `flaw´ is not a negative. Life events negative and positive can teach us about ourselves and life.
But here is the best part. I quoted Mary Poppin`s as saying “Anything can happen if you let it.” I will discuss how this is works in future blogs but for now I want people to know that you can change your present and your future when you release yourself from your past. Yes, your life was predestined in terms of where you were born, the family you were born into and other aspects. You can also make your own choices from now on and learn from them. Anything can happen when you accept your past, believe in yourself and love the person you are. When you move away from your past and live in the present. When you realise it is within your power to make the right choices and change your life. When you believe that you are entitled to the very best in life, that you are not being punished for anything you perceive you have done wrong, when you give up your thoughts of regrets (you were only doing the best you could in that situation)you can change your lif or yourself if that`s what you wish. This may be a Mary Poppin`s approach but it works for me and I have seen it work for many others.
What do you want to change? What don`t you like about yourself that you can see or turn into as a positive? What is in your life you don`t like but you can learn from and make new choices?
Leave comments here about these questions. I`d really like to read your ideas.